Chapter 2: The Odyssey of PIE
The beast of Rhode Island appeared!
Oh boy! A cat! I'm a zombie and I like cats!
"Never fear cat for I am PIE. professional zombie hunter and reformed demon torturer"
Micheal took damage from cuteness.
Micheal fainted (come back when you're stronger, man-horse)
Micheal leaves to do stuff. PIE takes the cat back to his house.
Micheal was sad and stuff.
PIE, meanwhile, is feeding the cat fish and milk (and explosives)
So the cat will explode when touched.
Micheal has returned! "Fear me cat, for I have returned!"
Micheal almost died. But he has a special ability.
[Being attacked by explosives heal him]
"Hah! I have beaten you, cat!" Micheal said while doing the wiggle dance in a speedo while I'm sexy and I know it' plays in the background. (why)
And pieces of cats are raining down.
To the horror of many unlookers.
Seriously, think about it: A zombie unicorn, dancing the wiggle dance in a dpeedo, while pieces of cat rain down. Fucking weird.
This is 'weird' a whole new definition. Zombie unicorn weird. LOL
Anywa, PIE said "nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My Cat! You made my cat eplode! You will die now!"
*pokemon theme song*
POKEMON! *dun dun dun*
PIE appeared! PIE sent out Pie! Pie used [Blackcurrant Jam]!
"Blackcurrant Jem! Arghh!"
Micheal takse 500 damage.
Micheal used [Horn Attack].
It failed and hit a dude's balls.
Like the guy was standing there with a sack of balls and Micheal accidently hit it. The guy is still screaming "NOOOOOOO!"
Aliens heard it in outer space.
Anyway, now Pie used [Strawberry Jam]!
It burns! D:
"How dare you! Now you will feel my powah!"
Micheal used [Pee]
It was super effective
[Unicorn Pee is acidic] *Fun Fact*
"You have defeated Pie. Now meet Pie!"
[And now, Adam will make the story dull]
Oh no. Pie I mean Pie. I am afraid.
Ugh. My powerz.
[Unicorn zombies are powered by FEAR] *fun fact*
"Nevah fear zombie bro," said some giant zombie dude with an axe.
He took his axe and chopped up Pie into little pieces with it.
Then he pooped.
The little pieces of Pie reformed into a big Pie.
Uhh... I don't know. Deal with it.
"Damn you Pie! I will beat you to death if i have to!" said zombie dude.
Micheal meanwhile had wandered of to pee.
"Ha! You will never defeat me! NEVER!! (even if you bake me)
Because i am PIe!!" PIe shouted.
I shall never defeat you? Well then I shall call my friend, Black hole!"
*Black Hole appears and sucks up PIe*
*PIe gets eaten by Black Hole*
"Nooooooooo I WILL HAVE MY REVEN"
"Ha, you dickface I have beaten yo"
Zombie guy was cut of by PIE setting him on fire.
Which made him explode
*Fact: zombies produce highly explosive and flammable gases*
Therefore, they blow up easily.
*You have defeated PIe. Now. Prepare to meet PIE!
[*evil laugh here*]
*Micheal gained 1000 EXP*
"Micheal returns from the toilet.
And finds that he has leveled up 10 levels!
He gains a whole load of atacks to aid him in the attack of PIE such as....
[Hexagonal Beam of The Triad]
Alright. Whatever. The point is, you still need to defeat PIE, who is kind of doing a pre-battle victory something dance.
Micheal had some time before the battle starts. So he thought he should poop. Since he just peed.
So.. to the toilet! And back.
Ms. Esther arrives! She's the referee.
"Don't forget to use the Talking Stick <3"
He used the talking stick and said "I'm ready to fight you! You hacker! Stop cheating. I, the self proclaimed [Person who maintains the balance of this game], shall defeat you! PIE!!"
[Activating cheat mode! Haha, fucker, try to beat me now!" said PIE
"I can add mods myself, PIE! Now I shall add a unicorn horn that is so powerful, that it killed that guy!" said Micheal.
"Destiny Beat, Fire!" said PIE while pointing at him with a sword.
*Insert massive explosions*
"AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrghhagkhlmnqrstjkmPOWAAAAaaaaaa!!!".. said Micheal.
You have died again. Restart at zombie unicorn nursery?
*activates infinite lives mod*
"Ohoho! Back for more?" said PIE, "Well, take this!"
*Micheal flew to an asteroid heading for some star*
"Come back here you little ass! Guh! I'll go to you and eat your brains!"
PIE flew of and blasted the asteroid into tiny pieces.
"Stop calling me that, you faggot!" said Micheal.
*shoots out a cat from its butt*
"New cat! Yay!"
That was the cat-guy. Micheal used [The Titanic'
A ship flew towards PIE.
However, it crashed into an iceberg on its way and sank in nothing.
"Ha, Ha! You can't touch me!" said PIE.
"Oh yeah? Now the iceberg is flying towards you. So there"
It melts the iceberg with its balls.
"Fuck" said Micheal.
"Oh yes" said PIE.
"mmhm" "you tell 'em" said the cat.
"Cat, you are an ass. PIE, fuck you! Time to pee!"
*pees at PIE's eyes"
"Aroadgnmolsdnmvoasnmfoiasd! My eyes! That hurts!"
PIE took damage. Not.
"Ha ha you fell for that." Said PIE.
"No I didn't! Ha! You fell for THAT!" said Micheal.
"[Hexagonal Beam of the Triad!"
Triad members come and beat up PIE.
PIE senses all of them to explode.
God woke up and made everyone else explode.
Then, time reversed and everyone was put together again.
And then it rained, which was God peeing.
There were thungerstorms too.
And Haiti was there.
There was another earthquake which killed 100000000000 people
Pooe Haiti. All those black people. Oh, and Norway had a butter crisis.
Back to Micheal and PIE, they had continued beating each other to death. Which was failing because they both had immortal cheats.
Do you know what this is? This is a box of traditional Norwegian butter. Let's cake a look inside. It's hardly empty. Does this look enough for Christmas? NO. Do you know how it feels to go to your neighbours and ask for pussy? [completely pointless]
"No I don't. Now how is this relevant?" asked PIE.
"It is! Poor norwegians!! You faggot!" said Micheal.
"Magic cat powers activate!" said cat.
"Uh-oh. [Super Gay Rainbow Lazorz!"
Cheng lex was here, and he exploded.
"Cat sheild! Cat Stare!"
*Fact: cats stares are intense like they're at your soul. Creepy shit man*
"Oh mah gawd! Close yer eyes!" Micheal said
"NEVAH!" said cat
"Feck you, cat, when I come to your house. I will eat all your butter and throw the boxes to your face, and laugh!"
"Not if I do this! Catsplosion!" < Cat
"Okay, kitty go bye bye" Micheal said.
"Mah Cat! Again! Fuck you zombie unicorn!" said PIE.
"[Fire]!" said Micheal
It burned the sun. And the moon. And yo ma ma the musician.
And there's still no butter for Norway. Maybe we should send them some.
"I want pussycats!"
"Wait... we're not american so why are you talking to us?" said PIE
Then a big block of butter appeared out of nowhere and started to melt.
Then, Joel appeared and exploded into squares.
Which got trapped in the butter which was sent to Norway and eaten.
Which made them happy, because the get pussy.
That was God's good deed of the century.
But then Tommy-or-something ate a bit of Joel's face and it started to choke.
Joel kept shouting "Press 'e'!"
Which started another Butter Crisis in Joel's pants.
Joel's pants now has no butter. They need butter NOW.
Robots in the sky flew to Earth and tried to pump butter into Joel's pants.
Joel felt good, really good. But it's not solved yet.
So micheal and PIE made a truce to solve the crisis and get this story back on track.
The only way to destroy this crisis is to destroy Joel's pants.l
Maybe get him new pants.
But Joel refused! "My SHORTS!"
Then he threw all the hardly empty butter boxes to them
"Shit! [Destiny Beam] fire!"
"[Supah Gay Rainbow Layzer!" said PIE and Micheal said simultaniously and destroyed all the boxes.
Joel got a new pair of shorts and exploded.
Therefore, the story is back on track.
So PIE and Micheal went back to trying to kill each other.
Again, it hit and iceberg.
Maybe we should call it '[the iceberg]' now.
But this time the Titanic still kept gong and hit PIE!.
It did one damage.
Too bad Micheal. Perhaps you have to proactice more.
Why don't you use the oven?
You can bake apples with them.
And bread and stuff.
Now PIE is getting hungry for pie.
Go bake yourself, PIE. Yourslef. Slef. Slef. Slef. Slef. Mrr.
"OH MAH GAWD! Great Idea!"
PIE has been defeated, Micheal has gained 5000 EXP.
Micheal learned Jumos.
And the Iceberg.
And the Calendar.
that's a whole lot of attacks